The world as I see it.

1. Charlie Gribble smelling like a brewery at 11 a.m.
2. Everything I own has a monetary value.
3. Fighting a good honest fight.
4. Trucks coming home at 4 p.m. in approximately 11 or 12 days.
   
5. Pushing back.
6. Always one step ahead.
7. A silver Durango. Glad I wrote down the plate number. Did you get a good look? Get a life.
8. Charlie Gribble showing everyone how stupid he really is.
9. I can go to the bluff any time I darn well please.

1. Being somewhere where no one can find me.
2. One red Jeep named Surefoot in Mark Williams’ garage. Exactly why are you hiding?
3. Just me and Brandon.
4. A good conversation beside a pool.
5. Sam’s pizza.
6. Today is June 30. I remember last year. I remember the year before that.

1. Quality time this afternoon with my attorney.
2. Thursday at 9:30 a.m.
3. It’s my stuff and you can’t have it. I will stand and fight for it.
4. A good conversation around noon today.
5. Standing up for what is right.

On a recent Jeep roadtrip with two of my bestest buddies, we happened to come across the biggest spider I have ever seen. Well, it found Amanda first. She screamed like a teenage girl, but that’s another story. But if you happen to know what kind of spider this is, please let me know. And it was as big as my hand. Yeah, it was that big. Later this week I will post about the entire trip and all the details that go with it.

(My favorite Michael Jackson song.)

Do you remember
When we fell in love
We were young
And innocent then
Do you remember
How it all began
It just seemed like heaven
So why did it end?

Do you remember
Back in the fall
We’d be together
All day long
Do you remember
Us holding hands
In each others eyes
We’d stare
(tell me)

Do you remember the time
When we fell in love
Do you remember the time
When we first met
Do you remember the time
When we fell in love
Do you remember the time

Do you remember
How we used to talk
(ya know)
We’d stay on the phone
At night till dawn
Do you remember
All the things we said like
I love you so
I’ll never let you go

Do you remember
Back in the spring
Every morning birds would sing
Do you remember
Those special times
They’ll just go on and on
In the back of my mind

Do you remember the time
When we fell in love
Do you remember the time
When we first met girl
Do you remember the time
When we fell in love
Do you remember the time

Those sweet memories
Will always be dear to me
And girl no matter what was said
I will never forget what we had
Now baby

Do you remember the time
When we fell in love
Do you remember the time
When we first met
Do you remember the time
When we fell in love
Do you remember the time

Do you remember the time
When we fell in love
Do you remember the time
When we first met
Do you remember the time
When we fell in love
Do you remember the time

Remember the times
Ooh
Remember the times
Do you remember girl
Remember the times
On the phone you and me
Remember the times
Till dawn, two or three
What about us girl

Remember the times
Do you. do you, do you,
Do you, do you
Remember the times
In the park, on the beach
Remember the times
You and me in spain
Remember the times
What about, what about…

Remember the times
Ooh… in the park
Remember the times
After dark…, do you, do you, do you
Remember the times
Do you, do you, do you, do you
Remember the times
Yeah yeah
Remember the times

1. Three girls + one Jeep + one runaway redneck + two waterfalls + one gigantic spider = one great road trip.
2. Kerosene.
3. One really deserted looking house on a hill.
4. Rants.
5. Finished the day with a dip in the pool, my laptop on the couch, and some really encouraging words from some good friends down south.

1. Hi Brad & Ang. Wishin’ I had some of that fried chicken.
2. Burden Falls, leaving at 3:30 tomorrow.
3. DP, yeah we are talking again.
4. Post 595.
5. Getting just what I wanted. Bittersweet.
6. Thinking about arson, but a good friend talking me out of it. Haha.

1. A fabulous Jeep ride with a good friend.
2. Crying in Wal-Mart.
3. A pool, good friends and Captain Morgan.
4. Keeping it together.
5. One more step.

1. New week, new adventures.
2. Hoping for a phone call this afternoon.
3. My couch and my laptop.
4. Yesterday, good day with dad.
5. Plan B.

The last seven days I have taken thirty steps backwards. My head is telling me one thing and my heart is telling me something else. I don’t know which one to listen to. I have been saying for two days that I was going to the bluff, and I have made excuses two times not to go. I will get there before the end of this week. I need to go, I have to go. I am going up there to clear my head, maybe get some answers and to leave something behind. The last six months have been a journey. It hasn’t been pleasant, it hasn’t been easy, but is has been necessary. It made me step back and look at the big picture. It made me look at my own faults, it made me except the faults of others. It made me realize that no matter how much I want something, it doesn’t mean that I can have it. No matter how many times I say “Come to me,” he’s not coming. No matter how many times I say “I’m sorry,” he won’t forgive.

I guess in the last couple of weeks I have forgotten all the bad stuff and just concentrated on all the good things. I have been on a very sentimental journey lately, looking at lots of pictures and listening to a lot of music. Sometimes these cause smiles and laughter and sometimes I just sit and sob hysterically.

I want to say that I am the same person I have always been, but that would be a lie. I have changed, hopefully for the better. I have definitely learned to handle things better. I have learned how to handle my weaknesses. I have learned that less is more sometimes. I’m not near as high-strung as I used to be. I have learned to listen. I have learned to accept the consequences of my actions. Sometimes this is good and sometimes not.

I don’t know where I’m going right now, but I definitely know where I’ve been. Sometimes doing the right thing isn’t the easiest. I’m about to put that to the test.