Simple Pleasures 128 of 365

1. One tanning bed and a treadmill.
2. Fajitas for supper….YUMMY!
3. “Don’t worry, I won’t.” Really?
4. Relaxing on the couch, watching the big screen.
5. Snow in the forecast.

Well, here it goes.

I know I have said this before but, “I am going to back into the habit of writing on my blog.” The truth is after almost two years of not posting I have simply gotten out of the habit of writing and now I really need to get back into the groove.

I know everyone makes New Year’s Resolutions of some sort, and I am no different. But my goals are more internal than external. I have decided to devote six months to just me. Time to get back to Julie. Time to remember who I was, maybe rediscover things about myself that I have forgotten and possibly reinvent myself. I don’t know where this plan will lead me, but the ride should be fun.

I have allowed other people and situations to determine my level of happiness. That was weak on my part. I have got to be in control of my own destiny. I have to let go of the paralysis of self-doubt at times. I have to figure out how to have thicker skin without losing my compassionate and caring nature. Some say I’m naive, but I’m OK with that. Embracing my strengths and weaknesses is going to be a challenge. I have to learn to trust more, but also know when I shouldn’t. I have to accept that some people will never live up to my expectations, while others will surpass any expectations I might have for them.

During a recent conversation I realized that 2011 wasn’t that bad. I learned some hard lessons. I think we all did this past year. But on December 31 we were all still standing. I am really, really happy with my friend circle right now. My friends have always been able to make me smile, hug me when I needed it and just talk to me when I have been lonely. Hopefully I have always been there for them too.

2012 will present itself with an entire new set of challenges, and I’m ready. I’m sure there will be tears, but I am just as confident that the laughs will outnumber them. I am also glad that now I can write about whatever I want. Being censored was not cool. Emotions are not weak, they are human. I will never again apologize for being me.

So, here’s to 2012! New year, new attitude and new memories just waiting to be made.

Simple pleasures 127 of 365

1. Good week.
2. Good friends.
3. Good food.
4. Good family time tomorrow.
5. Good times.

Simple pleasures 126 of 365

1. Woke up with a brand new perspective and it feels great.
2. Live and learn. Love and loyalty.
3. Writing and rewriting an upcoming post. Gotta get the words exactly right.
4. A smile, a few words, a big bear hug and a kiss on my forehead.
5. State the facts and let everything else just fall into place. No explanation needed.
6. Words are my weapons and my salvation.
7. Forgive your enemies, but don’t forget their names. -JFK

Simple pleasures 125 of 365

1. Monday, but it’s a good thing.
2. Cardinals are going to the World Series.
3. Bears won last night.
4. Going to Paducah to work for the week.
5. Taco Bell for supper tonight.

Sometimes…

Sometimes you just have to eat a big, juicy steak and everything is better.

Simple pleasures 124 of 365

1. Back to my old self.
2. Meatloaf and mashed potatoes for lunch.
3. Cardinals still alive til Friday’s game.
4. Actually starting to redesign my blog (I promise I have started)
5. Looking forward to going to Paducah next week. Lots of work, but with really great people.

Back to Basics

I may have had my best moment of clarity recently. Sure, I have had moments before, but this just might be the real thing. Clearly I have been wrong for a long time. Maybe now I finally get it. I will try and explain.

I’m not perfect. I’m too emotional at times and I let my emotions effect decisions sometimes when I shouldn’t. I have unrealistic expectations for those around me. I’m uptight. When I’m in my zone, nothing else matters, especially when I’m working. Sometimes I speak without thinking-sometimes this makes me look stupid, but mostly it makes me wish I would have just kept my mouth shut. Little things can drive me crazy at times, but not sweating the small stuff is starting to work for me. I’m loyal to a fault. Self-doubt sometimes paralyzes me.  But, since my moment of clarity…..

None of the above faults matter. It makes me who I am. I’m so tired of looking for the perfect life, now I’m living it. My mom always has a way of putting things in to proper prospective. She has reminded me not to want for things but to appreciate what I do have. Sure, I’m 40 years old, single, maybe feeling sorry for myself lately and over thinking everything. But right now I’m sitting on the couch, writing, eating lunch and watching an Anthony Bourdain rerun (more on Mr. Bourdain later). I may not have achieved nirvana but I am definitely content.

Some of the littlest things put a smile on my face. One txt message can change my entire mood for the day. Sometimes a song makes me smile, or make a tear run down my cheek. Life is about separate moments. All these moments make up a life. Sure I have had some pretty crappy moments but I have definitely had more good ones than bad.

Tell me about your good moment of today.

Simple Pleasures 123 of 365

1. Words said.
2. Maybe a new opportunity.
3. Home.
4. Responses.
5. Goodnight.

Simple Pleasures 122 of 365

1. Silence.
2. “From A Buick 8″ by Stephen King.
3. Ever elusive sleep has finally found me again. 
4. Grandpa’s pocket watch and Grandma’s handkerchief.
5. Mom’s supper tonight. Yummy!